One of the simplest definitions in the dictionary for the word “decide” is “to make a final choice.” It is quite empowering for teens to make a decision about how they want become more driven and learn to approach their school work differently. For many of my teen clients, before they started working with me, they “thought” about wanting to do better, but hadn’t made the decision yet to make a change. If the teen is truly ready and willing to put in the work to make a change for the better, then the next step is to make a decision. Remember, by definition, to “decide” is “to make a final choice.” Finally, after months of procrastinating and thinking about putting in more effort, the time has come to decide once and for all what the student wants. I have my students write down and read their decisions out loud. For many, it is the first time that these words have come out of their mouths and it feels great!

Some examples of “real-life” teen decisions are:

“I want to do better, make more of an effort, and fulfill my potential.”

“I want to push myself harder and find out what I’m capable of.”

“I’m going to step it up, stay on top, and get my stuff done.”

“I’ve decided that I want to know more about my strengths so I can learn how to be a better student.”

Of course the decision has to come from the student himself. I’m a firm believer that “change comes from within.” That doesn’t mean that you can do everything on your own and don’t need to ask for help. If that was the case, then many of us would be out of a job. “Change comes from within” is when a person has decided for himself that a change is needed in a particular area in his life. Only then, can outside resources be effective in helping him achieve what he wants.

Once the decision is made, a small congratulations to the student is in order since she has chosen to make a positive change in her life. Now, the real work begins as she will need to make action steps to get there. I call these “Well-Designed Actions”.

It is important to have somebody hold the teens accountable for the action steps that they make. It is more beneficial if this person is NOT a parent. If you have a teen, then you know why!

Click here to read more about the virtue of Well-Designed Actions in this post I wrote earlier this year.

With two more months left in the school year, it’s not too late to start making positive changes now. When teens are open to learning more about themselves, self-awareness can be an empowering tool that can serve them throughout high school, college, and beyond. But of course, before any of that can begin, it all starts with a decision.

1. Using their learning style when taking notes and studying.

2. Using their planner.

3. Talking to their teachers about what they can do better.

Most students may be doing one or two of these “ingredients”, but it takes doing ALL three at the SAME time in order to achieve the most academic success.

Learning Styles
There have been numerous studies done on the topic of learning styles. In Academic Life Coaching, we keep it simple and efficient by focusing on three learning styles that mimic our senses: visual (seeing), audio (hearing) and kinesthetic (touch). When students are self-aware of their primary learning style, they can incorporate it into their studying and note taking. For example, visual learners can practice creating pictures in their head while reading or use a highlighter in their notes and take a mental “snap shot” of how their notes look. Audio learners thrive by making verbal summaries of the information and saying it out loud with a partner. Flashcards are important for all learning styles, but the act of making them is especially key for kinesthetic learners as they can touch and separate them into different piles. There’s a link below to take a quiz to find out your Primary Learning Style.

Planner
With technology these days, many students only rely on their classroom’s website or digital calendar to keep track of their tasks. However, I still insist on the old-fashioned hard copy planner that has monthly pages at-a-glance as well as weekly pages to write daily assignments. Students need to get in the habit of using their planners every day in every class. If there is no homework in a class, then write “no homework.” As soon as a teacher hands out a syllabus (or posts it online) with upcoming test dates or projects or other “biggies”, write it in the monthly page and weekly page. Getting in the habit of looking at the monthly page every few days mentally prepares you for what’s coming up. Then, use the weekly page to plan when you will move into action. Students often may write down the actual test date, but they do not schedule what day they need to start preparing. Get in the habit of “Sunday Night Planning.” Every Sunday night, take a few minutes to see how the week looks and fill in anything that you may have missed. This helps with mentally preparing for the week to avoid any stressful surprises.

Talking to teachers
The last step that successful students take is talking to their teachers about how they can do better. Teen students rarely practice empathy, and think from their teacher’s perspective. What is it that their teachers really want? Teachers want their students to learn and understand the material that they teach. They want to help. With that in mind, students should ask their teachers in-depth questions like, “What can I do to best understand the material?” or “This is how I am studying now, what suggestions do you have on how I can do it better?” These questions are more useful than simply asking how one can get an A in the class. Remembering that teachers want them to succeed will help students have more confidence to approach their teachers.

Click here and scroll down for a quiz to determine your Primary Learning Style

The Recipe for Academic Success is not meant to be an easy, quick fix to solve academic stress over night. Consciously doing all three steps takes effort, hard work, patience and determination. It serves as a strategy and action plan to give students more control to move forward toward what they want. They may know that they want better grades, but this is a good starting point on HOW to get there. Like most things in life, you will get as much out of it as you put in. If students work in the three “ingredients” in the Recipe for Academic Success with a dash of their own system of recovery when they get knocked off track, then the rising confidence of experiencing better outcomes will prove to be quite sweet.

Hayden Lee, Certified Academic Life Coach
haydenleealc.com

What is a Well-Designed Action? A Well-Designed Action (WDA) is a positive, sustainable, action step that is completely in your control. The whole process of setting goals and trying really hard to get them can lead to frustration because so much of our goals involve a high degree of factors that fall outside of our control. For example, a student’s goal may be to get straight A’s, but ultimately, he is not in control of giving himself an A, his teacher is. So, each time that he doesn’t reach his goal, he may be frustrated and then tries harder, but does the same actions.

Instead of creating goals, it is much more effective to think in terms of creating a system that involves a “well-designed action” plan that is in your control and can boost natural, intrinsic motivation. (Being motivated to do something because the action itself is the reward.)

A Well-Designed Action meets these four criteria:

1. It is stated in the positive.

2. Getting started and the success (or failure) of the action depends entirely on you.

3. It has a good size to time ratio that gets you moving into action and keeps you moving at a comfortable pace.

4. It is specific and measurable.

For the student who has the goal of getting straight A’s this semester, his Well-Designed action can be: I will finish and understand the study guide TWO days before the test date, and use the remaining two days to ask my teacher any questions that come up while studying.

Another goal may simply be to do better in school. The Well-Designed Action could be: I will write in my planner every day what needs to be done for every class, and if I don’t have any homework for a class, I will write “no homework.”

And for the student who has the goal of keeping a clean room this semester, her WDA system can be: I will pick up my clothes off the floor and put them in the closet every Sunday night as part of my routine before I start the school week.

The biggest virtue of the WDA is that it empowers the students with the full control of the success or failure of the action. WDAs shift the focus away from the end result of the goal to the actual process of how they’re going to work effectively. Learning to turn their attention inward and focus on what they can control in their lives, and following through on that action is one of the most valuable skills young people can acquire.

Teens love WDAs because breaking down huge goals into small, sustainable action steps is manageable and in their control. Teens often know that they want to do better in a particular area, but have no idea where to start or how to get there. WDAs help bridge that gap.

Making WDAs does not automatically mean that teens will get straight A’s, have a huge boost in their GPA, and have a spotless room. However, following through on their actions over time will make a huge difference in their self-confidence, allow them to create new, useful habits, and eventually allow them to see the results that they want.

Now, how’s that for a Happy New Year?

Type One: The Perfectionist

I like things to be perfect. If I really care about something, I will spend a lot of time working to make it right. I can be extremely organized about things I care about. If only people knew how hard I can be on myself at times! It’s as if I have a voice in my head that constantly judges how well I am doing. I don’t like errors, and I hate making mistakes. Sometimes I get stressed out at how much I have to do, and I feel like I have to do it right. Others sometimes think that I can be serious. I guess I do like to get things done right, but I like to have a good time like everyone else.

Type Two: The Helper

I love being useful and being able to give to others. I often find myself doing so much for others, though, that I get worn out and wish I had more time and energy for myself. At moments like this, I wish that I could say ‘no’ better and take better care of myself. I love feeling loved and appreciated, especially when someone goes out of their way to thank me. On the other hand, when some people think that I’m trying to control the situation, it hurts my feelings. All I’m trying to do is help!

Type Three: The Doer

I want to be the best I can be at what I do. I am very goal driven. I believe that people are what they achieve, and I have achieved a lot. I get frustrated when others waste time or mess it up. Some people call me competitive, and although I admit that I am, I also do well on teams. I tend to care a lot about my reputation and how others see me. When I have a goal I care about, I can focus and get it done. Why do anything if you cannot be the best at it?

Type Four: The Artist

I love feeling my emotions. Many people consider me creative and artistic. I feel most alive when I express myself and when others understand me for who I am. I like to think of myself as unique and different from everyone else. But sometimes I feel misunderstood and lonely. Some say that I am dramatic, but I am only expressing how I feel. I want a deep connection with others. I am after what is true, real, and beautiful.Feelings are extremely important to me. I am what I feel. I don’t mind feeling sad. It’s a human emotion like any other, and emotions do pass. What’s most important to me is that I know what I feel, even if I don’t know what to do about it.

Number Type Five: The Expert

I love being the expert. I like knowing as much as I can about a subject before I have to do anything. I hate it when others say I’m factually wrong when I think I’m right. Often times I would prefer not to answer questions than risk being wrong. I am more than willing to argue my point, and I will reconsider my ideas if the facts don’t support what I think. I love going to my room, where I have my books, dvd’s, video games, and a space where no one will make demands on my energy or time. I like my alone time. I like to think about past experiences when no one else is around. It helps me sort myself out. I don’t like to depend too much on others. In groups, I am more than willing to speak up and say what I want. I enjoy living a simple, straightforward life.

Number Type Six: The Loyal-Skeptic

I have a good imagination, and I tend to think up worst-case scenarios. That’s good because I’m always prepared for the worst. Issues with authority also play a big role in my life. I go from going along with those in charge completely to being a rebel depending on what I think about them. When someone tells me a new idea, I can usually see what could go wrong with it. I like to think something through before I trust it. Once I trust a person and believe in an idea, I am a strong ally. People tend to think I’m witty and smart. I have a funny, if unusual, sense of humor.

Number Type Seven: The Enthusiast

I want to have the best. I like it when life moves fast and I have lots of options open. I try to always avoid negative emotion. I run away from bored, feeling trapped, or being sad. If something does get me down, I’ll quickly think of something else. My mind moves 100 miles an hour. I will sometimes get really into something I barely know about. Then when I get bored with it, completely drop it. I guess I have a lot of things I’ve started but don’t quite finish. I am good at making connections between things that are completely different. I am an optimist who believes that life is to be enjoyed. Sometimes, though, I have trouble deciding between two positive choices. Which one will be better? Can I have them both?

Number Type Eight: The Defender

I love a good challenge. I love being in control of things that matter to me. I am a blunt and honest person who seeks out truth and justice. I respect those in power who treat others fairly. It angers me when people try to manipulate me or act unfairly to others. I like to be in control. Sometimes people accuse me of being bossy, but I’m only trying to make sure everything is ok. I don’t like others knowing my flaws or weaknesses. And I have little patience for weakness in others, unless they are trying to do something about it. It’s a tough world out there. Someone’s got to be in control.

Number Type Nine: The Peacemaker

I like it best when everything is peaceful. I try to avoid conflict and keep everyone happy. In groups, I tend to go along with what others want. Sometimes I find myself agreeing with someone or something when I don’t want to. I sometimes get frustrated with myself, but I don’t like to disappoint people. I don’t like it when others are angry at each other, and I hate it when people are angry at me. Sometimes people tend to take advantage of my kind nature though, but I can stand up for myself when I need to. I can usually see all sides to a situation because each side has its pluses and minuses. Sometimes I have trouble knowing what it is I really want. I just want life to be comfortable and peaceful.

What is your Primary Core Motivation? What words, phrases, or sentences jumped out at you?

Once an Academic Life Coach helps a teen identify his/her Core Motivation, they can work together to make action steps to embrace his/her types’ strengths, acknowledge his/her challenges to personal growth, and consciously work on exercises to aid in his/her personal growth.

This type of self-awareness is a step in the right direction in helping empower young adults to reduce stress, have more control, and become fulfilled, effective leaders.

There are two primary ways to get you into action:

1) Motivation Away From Bad Stuff: Moving away from the things that you want to avoid (i.e. bad grades, getting yelled at by mom and dad)

2) Motivation Toward Good Stuff: Moving toward what you want to get (i.e. good grades, a clean room)

Most of us tend to operate under the “Away From Bad Stuff” model. For example, you may be pretty comfortable with your math grade, so you coast along, but then your math grade may start slipping. Then, you panic, get a burst of energy and motivation, and work really hard to raise the grade, thus moving AWAY from what you want to avoid. Then, you may relax again until the grade starts to slip and you have to light that fire under yourself and the vicious cycle continues. The panic can cause a lot of stress, last minute cramming, and is not very sustainable.

What would happen if you shifted to the “Toward Good Stuff” model? This would involve creating a sustainable action plan from the get-go so that you don’t need to experience the stress and panic in the first place. For example, you just cleaned your room and it is looking impeccable. What would happen if you actually created a system for your room where there is a place for everything and everything is in its place? A well-designed action plan is implemented to continually work toward keeping the room clean and getting to where you want to go. This method is a lot more sustainable and it is certainly less stressful to make small daily efforts to work at maintaining the system for a clean room rather than thinking about the impending doom of getting yet another lecture from the parents about how the room is a disaster area. The same method can apply to your grades: creating a positive, sustainable action plan of studying from the beginning, so there are no huge dips in grades that can cause the stressful frenzy.

In what areas do you find yourself being motivated “Away From Bad Stuff”? What is one thing that you can do today to slowly start shifting to the motivation “Toward Good Stuff” model?

When she called, I was at the office in a meeting and my schedule that day was a roomy as the old shoebox my daughter had used to make her leprechaun catcher.   In other words, there was no way that she was going to have her leprechaun catcher at school, in time.  A rush of emotion came over me.

Guilt.  How could I have gotten confused about the due date for this project?  Anger!  Did the teachers communicate the due date with us?  Sadness.  My heart broke for my daughter, thinking about the effort she had put into the project.  Frustration. How can I convey to her that in the grand scheme of things this situation will be easily forgotten?  I could have reacted by getting upset, making the situation worse and disempowering all involved.  But, there was another choice.

My choice was to react in such a way that the situation was moved forward positively!  Easy right?  Not really.  In fact  I’ve been working on this concept for awhile, because I see myself and my clients struggle with occasionally reacting in ways that we are not happy about and result in making things worse, not better.   We are busy working moms, multi-tasking with the best of them.  But at times, if we juggle too many balls, we find ourselves reacting impulsively.  We are so caught up the circus, we’re not actually present.

With this in mind, I developed a strategy that begins with bringing ourselves to the present when we feel that a negative reaction might be emerging.  Once we are present we can employ T.A.L.K.

Thought.  When we are thinking, we are able to create a context for what is happening – where does this fit into the big picture right now?  What is reasonable based on the people involved and circumstances? What is the thoughtful reaction?

Alignment.  Who do we want to be in this situation?  What are our values in this moment?  How can we align with our commitments and values as we react?

Levity.  What is potentially funny about this?  The things we get upset about are often hilareous in hindsight.  Where is the humor in this moment?

Kindness.  How can we be kind right now?   How can we show compassion to the very people who we feel are causing our reaction?  How can we place ourselves in their shoes?  How can we be compassionate towards ourselves?

This is how I applied T.A.L.K. to my daughter’s Leprechaun Catcher problem:

As I listened to my daughter, I felt those emotions welling up inside me.  I knew I was in danger of reacting, so I took a breath and brought myself to the present.  This required that I stop thinking about who was at fault and start focusing on solutions.  I put T.A.L.K. into action:

Thought:  Talking to my 6 year old about this was going to get me nowhere and be upsetting for us both.

Alignment:  What was important here?  My daughter getting her needs met and me being responsible towards my associates and clients.

Levity:  We were fretting over a Leprechaun catcher! Need I say more?

Kindness:  The teachers were doing a great job.  My daughter is 6.  I am a committed mother.  We all deserve compassion and kindness.

I calmly asked my daughter to let me talk to the teacher.  We worked out another opportunity for my daughter to share and set her catcher later in the day when my husband could deliver it to school on his break– crisis averted.

It worked!  Does this mean that we should deny or avoid expressing feelings? Heck no!  In fact, it has been my experience that if we let go of our need to react negatively in the moment, we are better able to express our feelings in such a way that they are heard, allowing us to move on.

Next time, I’ll tell you how I used this strategy when my son informed me he was required to wear a toga to school.  Here’s the kicker – we had 7 minutes to pull it together.  T.A.L.K. came in handy!

—————-

Jamee Tenzer is professional coach.  She helps working moms integrate their professional and personal lives in order to create more work/family balance. Jamee holds a PCC Credential from the International Coach Federation, is a contributor to numerous magazines and websites and recently published Balance Your Work and Family with Less Stress and More Fun!  As part of her commitment to supporting working moms, she has created a number of programs including: 7 Days To Achieve Peace Through Imperfection – a FREE video series.  Check it out atwww.jameetenzer.com.

Research shows, as well as motivation specialist Daniel H. Pink in his book Drive, that we feel our best when we do something that we believe in, do it well, and do it for a cause greater than ourselves. I call this Purpose. Purpose and Intrinsic Motivation go hand in hand. Intrinsic Motivation is being motivated to do something because the action itself is the reward. “I want to do this because I enjoy the challenge.” This is the type of motivation that brings us the most fulfillment. On the other hand, Conditional Motivation is doing something for the sake of an external benefit or reward. There is an “if-then” clause. “If I get good grades, then I will get into a good college.” Unfortunately, most young adults operate under the Conditional model, but it is certainly less sustainable and less fulfilling in the long-term than the Intrinsic model because it does not tap into who we are, who we want to be, and what is this all for?

However, the trick is instilling Intrinsic Motivation in teens in areas that they find boring or not applicable to their lives. For example, it may seem impossible to get a teenager to focus on Trigonometry when he appears to have an allergic reaction to the thought of mathematics! However, let’s say that part of this teen’s Purpose involves wanting to inspire his younger brother and others to be able to overcome challenges. In fact, that Purpose may be so important to him that he has named one of his Values, the “Challenges Value.” So, on his next Trig assignment, he shifts his perspective just a bit and asks himself, “Am I honoring my Challenges Value?” He decides to focus just a bit more, not because all of a sudden he has a new love for math, but because he is able to find Purpose and Intrinsic Motivation in an area of his life where it is not blatantly apparent how it can be enjoyable for him.

For some teenagers, it may be simple to think about their Purpose. For others, it may evoke a blank stare. One way great to start thinking about Purpose is asking, “What do you love to do and why do you love doing it?” I call this Passion. Digging deeper into the aforementioned question can unlock some empowering truths for many young adults. One of my students answered that he loved playing the saxophone and couldn’t imagine a week going by without playing music. He had not realized how important music was to him and he described the conversation as “eye-opening.” It is crucial for young adults to identify their passions and for parents to help nurture those passions. After all, it is in our passions where Intrinsic Motivation comes naturally… the action of doing the things that we love to do is a reward in itself.

When Purpose and Passion are there, then Fulfillment comes along with that. It is important that young adults learn at an early age what truly brings them the most meaning to their lives, and they can base their future actions and decisions on whether or not they are honoring the Values and Purpose that they had defined for themselves. Inviting young adults to continually build the life skills of consciously working towards their Purpose, nurturing their Passions, and seeking Fulfillment in what they do is a solid foundation on which the next generation can build upon to leave their legacy.

What is the backstory of Traut Financial? You started it when you were 16. How did that come to be? Well, basically, my company was founded on the basis of a simple choice. During the summer, I had the choice of either playing video games or to learn something new. I chose to learn investing which opened many doors for me. As I excelled, I came to learn that the world of finance was selfish with people always trying to make the quick buck. So, that’s when I came up with Traut Financial. Basically, my company assists people to make money while helping them reach their goals and dreams. We specialize in two aspects of finance: financial education and Angel Investing.

How important is it for you to learn something new? I think it’s really important. I like learning because when you are opened up to more things, you have a lot more opportunities. When you have more choices, you can see what you like. When you find all this new stuff, you’re open to more things, and it makes life better.

What are some of your top values? I’d say trust is one of my biggest values. If one can’t keep his own word, then he can’t be counted on for most other things in life. And loyalty, that goes with trust. If somebody trusts you, they will call upon you to do stuff. You will have more opportunities. Then, everything else tends to fall in place if you do that.

How does your business honor your values? My company honors my values because we will always do what we say and never over-promise. Our hard work coupled with motivation has led us to succeed. The fact that we keep our word on everything that we do, and we’re always straight up and honest with our customers builds the connection with them, and that’s what builds the trust.

Conditional Motivation is doing something for an external reward: “if I do this, then I will get this reward”. Intrinsic Motivation is when the act of doing something is the reward itself, and the process is just as fulfilling as the end result. What intrinsically motivates you? I’d say that I’m motivated to make a difference in the community. I believe that helping others can open your eyes to a new world, to a new passion.

What do you get out of helping others? Getting the good feeling of knowing that it’s not just for myself. If I’m not helping anybody else, what am I really doing? What is my impact? When you can see other people succeed right before your eyes, or you see them get helped from something that you did, it makes you feel like you made that change and your hard work went towards something. It gives you purpose.

How do you define purpose? Purpose is what you’re meant to do and what makes you happy. It’s knowing what makes you happy, and not just what would make you succeed the most, but what can help others the most. If you don’t have the purpose or the drive, every day, it lowers your motivation. You have to make time for what you love and what you need to do. Then, the two can be in harmony which couples with the rise in motivation.

You had mentioned that at one time in high school, your grades weren’t the best. Then you got better grades and better at time management. How did you do that? Basically it came down to having a calendar. I found that it was really important every day to have “me” time or time with friends. And if I had a project, I planned out how much to do every day. Through high school, I had a 3.0, so I guess it wasn’t the best, but I made sure to do a lot of other stuff; it wasn’t just necessarily grades. That’s why I got “Student of the Year” in the ROP Program out of 40,000 students. It’s usually all about GPA, but what I think colleges really look for, and what people should focus on is excelling at what they’re best at while having fun doing it, and that’s how they’re going to succeed and that’s how they’re going to be happy in life.

What do you love to do and why do you love doing it? I love going to Angel games because those are with my friends and family. It’s a way to get away and have fun and relax. Always spending time with my girlfriend and my friends helps me forget my worries of the day. It just makes everything easier. And with my business, I love doing it because it is rewarding and I get to help a lot of people.

How important is it for you to spend time for family and friends? I think it’s really important, every day, to be around the people that you love. If you spend time with them, you’re going to have fun. If you’re having fun every single day, that gives you motivation, the drive to succeed. You look at it all differently. If you’re sitting in a room and working all day, what are you working for? You’re not working to have fun. If you’re just working to have money, but you don’t do anything with that money, what’s the point of having it?

It’s about purpose. Yup. Yup.

What is your definition of leadership? Leadership. Generally, people tend to think that in order to be a good leader, you must hold a position with a fancy title. In reality, it’s not only about the change that you can create, but its about your ability to engage, motivate and inspire others to accomplish their goals and visions. You must also know oneself, delegate, be able to change the course when needed, and most importantly, be capable of instilling trust in others. That goes back to my Trust Value, I guess. And I think leadership must be executed within your everyday life to better yourself and your community. It’s not always about the huge scale of the President or the CEO. In reality, it can be in your everyday little decisions.

Having gone through the Core Motivation types and learning that you’re a Type #3 Doer, what are your biggest strengths as that type? Being a team player and being calm under pressure would probably be my biggest strengths. And I tend to be a visually based learner.

What are areas of improvement about being a Type #3? I guess when other people waste time, and I get really frustrated or annoyed, having more patience is something that I can improve on. And understanding when I can’t do something the best or understanding when I’m not the best at it. That’s something that I can work on.

How important is it for teenagers in high school to be self-aware of their learning styles, leadership styles, and motivation styles? It’s very important because if you’re not aware of yourself of your styles or how you learn, you’re just going to mindlessly be doing the same mistakes over and over. Or you’re going to be going down the wrong path, maybe not your purpose. And once you find your purpose, life just gets way better.

How does it get better? It gets easier. It gives you motivation. It gives you drive to wake up every day and go to work or go have fun, when you know what you’re going to do. It makes life a lot easier and simpler, and you get more rewarded out of that.

You’re only 18. When did you start thinking like this?  I lived in the same house for 15 years, and once I moved to the community that I’m in now, I started to get involved. So around 16, I started getting involved in volunteering and in politics. I guess I have always been like this, but I guess I blossomed in the past two years to get more involved.

What was the “tipping point” that shifted you to think this way? I live in a community, its not necessarily a city. They had a board run by volunteers that is the voice of the community. Originally, they said it was no age requirement and everyone was welcome on the board. So when I moved here, I thought that would be a great way to get involved and I could represent the teens and I tried to be on it. After they accepted my candidacy to be on the board, they changed their mind and put an age requirement on it of 18 and made it so they did not have a teen leader on the council. It got me upset that so much of the community was not getting represented. That’s when I started the Teen Leadership Council. So now there’s an entire council for everyone under the age of 18 that gets represented. So from that, that’s when I started to get more involved and I started to look at what I really wanted to do in life. That’s when it came down to the decision with investing and video games. Everything has just gone from there. I became an Eagle Scout; I focused more on my schooling. So I guess being told that I couldn’t do something was my big motivator and that’s what really changed it all.

What do you think of Academic Life Coaching? If people want to succeed, a lot of it starts in the home; if they have supportive parents, if they have supportive teachers, if they have somebody that they can go to.  I see tremendous value in your program, and I know that if more students knew about it , they would succeed on a greater level and be a lot happier. Because once you assist them with the finding of who they are and their strengths, I know you’ll help them achieve their goals by helping them find their passions and purpose in life. I think that’s what’s really going to help create the leaders in society.

What is your one piece of advice for high school students? My advice to students is that you must do what drives you; be with who you love. As a young adult, you have so many opportunities and freedoms to decide your future that you should take those opportunities and run with them!

What piece of advice would your Future Self (Connor 10 years from now – which we nicknamed “CJ”) give you today? If at some point in life, things don’t go your way, or you lose at something or lose an election, it’s okay. Just keep going out there and see what you’re best at and just keep on trying.

That’s pretty sound advice, “CJ”! You have MY vote!

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Click Traut Financial to learn more about Connor’s financial business.

Click Traut 2012 to learn more about Connor’s campaign for Ladera Ranch Civic Council.

Click Hayden Lee, ALC to contact me and learn more about how I can help you or your teenager find the healthy balance between school, passion, leadership and purpose.

There are many types of motivation styles. In Academic Life Coaching, we like to call two of them Motivation Away From Bad Stuff and Motivation Towards Good Stuff. Most teenagers operate under the first model where they tend to coast along until something bad happens…like their grades begin to slip or their lack of organization gets so out of control that they lose an important document.  When these “bad things” happen, they panic and get a sudden burst of motivation. They may think, “Yikes! I better study harder on this one test or I will fail the class!” or “Sheesh, I better clean my desk and find this paper or Mom is going to KILL me!” Things may improve for a short while, but then they fall back into their old habits again and the vicious cycle continues.

Conversely, Motivation Towards Good Stuff involves continually making Well-Designed Action Plans that are doable, sustainable, in a student’s control, and consistently working towards where the student wants to go. This type of motivation involves a shift in perspective and an evaluation of the student’s values and purpose in life. Instead of turning up the heat only when the prospect of doom is near, the student consciously makes better decisions in order to honor their values and contribute to the “big picture” of who they are and where they want to go. For example, for a student who has identified their “Feeling of Accomplishment” value, he may have a Well-Designed Action that goes, “Okay, before every test, I will make sure to finish the study guide at least one day before the test, and use the last day to ask my teachers any questions that came up during my studying.”

Motivation Towards Good Stuff definitely takes more work and patience than the first model, but it is more sustainable, and the rewards are SO worth it! Stress is decreased, grades improve, self-confidence rises, and communication with others becomes more effective.

Which Motivation Style does your student practice more often? Motivation Away From Bad Stuff or Motivation Towards Good Stuff? What about you?

If you’re a student, a parent of a student, or knows a teen/young adult who may benefit from shifting away from old habits to creating a new and improved system of Motivation Towards Good Stuff, you can contact me here. Make sure to ask me about the free Initial Session and the Summer Special!

Have a great summer!

Hayden Lee, ALC

He was quite an eloquent speaker and very well prepared. He presented very impressive facts and figures about his institution; in fact, he was a professor there! He referenced the many pictures on the slideshow behind him that showcased beautiful images of his campus. My pulse started to race as I thought, “I didn’t have any of that.” I assured myself that the first speaker just happened to be a professor who wanted to be overly prepared and organized, and that the others were going to wing it just like me…I was wrong. The second speaker did her presentation, which was just as detailed as the first. She spoke of all the different majors that her university offered and even the philosophy of the school. Realizing that I was completely unprepared, I sat there thinking to myself, “I’m going to ruin College Awareness Day.”

After the third and fourth speakers gave equally thorough speeches, I approached the podium wondering if thirteen year olds carried rotten tomatoes in their backpacks nowadays…or worse yet, because these were Glee fans, would I get slushied?

I knew that I didn’t know much about the stats of UC San Diego, so I decided to use my time with these young adults to talk about what I did know about college. I let them know that where they go to college is not nearly as important as what they choose to do with the opportunities and experiences offered there. I told them that in the next few years that competition may rise between peers as to who got accepted into the “best college,” but I assured them that there is no such thing. College is about finding the “right fit” for you. College is a time to take advantage of as many opportunities that interest you like studying in a foreign country, getting hands-on experience, meeting a diverse group of people, or simply a time to discover your passions or nurture the ones that you already know that you have. I encouraged the students to start thinking about their future academic careers by answering this question: “What do you love to do and why do you love doing it?”

I was proud of myself for what I said. If I had gotten even one person in that room to contemplate their purpose, passion, and what brings them fulfillment, then maybe I didn’t ruin College Awareness Day after all.